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Peace and Chaos Page 1-10 by ~KumoriMusha:iconKumoriMusha:



Page 1

NATALY looking over her shoulder with a frightened look.

Wide view; NATALY running down an alleway

NATALY stumbling over trash at the end of the alleyway

NATALY fallen on the ground stomach down, but propping herself up to rollover

Page 2

Wide view; NATALY rolls over stomach up, her arms stretched back so that she is propped up and scrambling back as a Corrupted looms over her

Silhouette of NATALY on the ground with the Corrupted on top of her as blood sprays from the head/mouth looking as if the Corrupted had bitten NATALY

NATALY pushes the Corrupted's limp body off of her

ANDREW is looking down with his arm at a right angle holding up a smoking handgun

Close up; ANDREW's hand grasping NATALY's, helping her up

Page 3

ANDREW standing with NATALY stabilizing her by the arm.

ANDREW
You okay?

NATALY
I-I think so.

ANDREW helping NATALY with her arm over his shoulders.

ANDREW
Listen, we've got to get somewhere safe okay?

NATALY
Mhm...

ANDREW
(Cont)
Stay with me.

Close up on NATALY with her eyes nearly closed.

ANDREW
(OP)
Come on. You can't sleep now.

ANDREW is carrying NATALY in his arms

Looking up at ANDREW through a small opening as if through NATALY's closing eyes

Page 4

ANDREW is sitting over NATALY who is laying on a cot inside of a basement

Looking up at ANDREW

ANDREW
Finally you're awake.

Looking down on NATALY's face

NATALY
Wh-where am I?

ANDREW
(OP)
My humble home, or at least it has been for the last few weeks.

Pile of canned and dried food

ANDREW
Got about two weeks worth of supplies...

NATALY lying on the cot

ANDREW
(OP)
...and a comfortable place to sleep.

NATALY sitting up next to ANDREW

NATALY
I-I don't even know who you are.

ANDREW
Name's Andrew.

NATALY
(cont)
Why are you here? I mean, why didn't you leave with the rest?

Page 5
Close up of ANDREW

ANDREW
Truth is, it was my mom...

ANDREW walking up the stairs with a tray carrying a small cup of pills and a glass of water

Five weeks ago

Looking over MOM, laying on the bed, to the door

ANDREW
*Knock-knock*

MOM
Com-*cough* Come in.

ANDREW sitting on the bed's edge preparing MOM's medicines.

ANDREW
You feeling all right?

MOM
Of course dear.

ANDREW extends a glass of water and the small cup of pills

ANDREW
Make sure you take all of these.

ANDREW gets up to leave

MOM
Before you leave, could you turn on the TV for me?

Page 6

Close up on the remote turning on the TV

TV screen displaying a newscast with the headline story "The Corrupted" with the corrupteds' picture next to the title

ANDREW
(OP)
What the hell?

TV screen with images of the police fighting off the corrupted.

ANCHOR
Their origins as well as their motives remain unknown, but we do know they are extremely violent.

TV screen with small image of corrupted and the Anchor broadcasting

ANCHOR
Police are urging all civilians to lock up their houses and remain inside.

MOM looking at the back of ANDREW as he blocks the TV

MOM
What's going on dear? You know I can't hear well.

Page 7

MOM's house with a group of corrupted outside

Two weeks ago

From the Attic we see ANDREW's head and arm reaching through grabbing a handgun and clips.

Over MOM on the bed we see ANDREW closing the door

ANDREW pulls the vanity in front of the door.

Page 8

A CORRUPTED's hand breaks through the front door.

MOM
(OP)
Listen Andrew.

A CORRUPTED has its body half way through the door.

MOM
(OP)
You have taken care of me long enough.

The CORRUPTED climbing the stairs

MOM
(OP)
Now hand it to me.

The CORRUPTED outside of the bedroom door

MOM
(OP)
I told you where to find it, now hand it to me!

ANDREW hands MOM the handgun.

MOM
(OP)
It's time for you to take care of yourself.

ANDREW
Mom, no!

Page 9

MOM laying on the bed with a bullet hole in her forehead.

ANDREW weeping over MOM's body

ANDREW
No mom, no...

The vanity fallen over onto the ground

Close up of ANDREW looking up towards the door

Page 10

Close up of ANDREW taking the gun from his MOM's hand

An open window with the curtains blowing

ANDREW sliding down the roof of his home

ANDREW squatted down with his hands on his head, gun in one hand
©2008-2009 ~KumoriMusha
:iconkumorimusha:

Author's Comments

This is the second draft of the first ten pages of the graphic novel Peace and Chaos.

Please comment and let me know what you liked and disliked.

Key:
Single line is a panel description

CAPs name with text below is dialogue

OP is Off Panel

Cont is Continued from last dialogue

Comments


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:iconkoholint:
I really love that comic-style layout; I can see it all playing out in my mind. :) I can see this working excellently as a noir-style comic book. It would look great!

I'd like to someday see more of this.

--
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil! :evillaugh:
:iconkumorimusha:
Hmm, I hadn't thought of that. This would be sweet in a Sin City type Noir style. I'll diffidently keep that in the back of my mind. It would work great for survival horror genre.

--
Humans are plagued by a zombie like disease in "Peace and Chaos"
Join the ~GNWriters-Club
:iconkoholint:
:D That's exactly what I was thinking and why I thought it would work well for Peace and Chaos.

--
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil! :evillaugh:
:iconangichan:
might be preferable to begin with her before the chase, why she is out and about? what is running through her mind...?(you wouldn't have to be to specific. the confusion is part and part what draw the reader in.) but beginning with a base line of normalcy for the reader to then contrast with chaotic scene that soon ensues, will make it hit home better.
This genre is difficult to undertake, and then again be original in this day and age of zombie/vamp/werewolf/demon media. these 'corrupted' being something completely new and unseen before could bring some unique-ness to this piece. but otherwise, follow your heart, if you get physically pumped about this story while creating it, then it's good. if not...gotta do the tweaking to get it to that point.
keep up the good work.
:iconkumorimusha:
I'll diffidently try out that suggestion and see how it comes out.
I totally agree to the genre being difficult as pertains to individual and innovative ideas, but the story will develop into much more than just a zombie-esque survival horror. I have the arc built in my head with political issues and big ideas about peace and chaos and war and human nature, it's the in between that I still have to write.
I'm just hoping that I can get people to read far enough into the thing to discover that it is much more than a simple survival horror graphic novel. What do you think about short sections where we see a little bit of what the government is doing, or little other things just to let the reader know that there is more to it?

--
Humans are plagued by a zombie like disease in "Peace and Chaos"
Join the ~GNWriters-Club
:iconangichan:
as far as I know, NOT knowing what is going on and finding out the hard way creates the drama in this genre...but if the government is suffering as much as our main characters, maybe...
really just go with your gut and what YOU think is best.
:iconkumorimusha:
I think you are right. My only worry is that people will read a bit and think "Meh, it's just another zombie story think I will just make sure their is plenty of character interaction so that the story is more about the people than in the situation than the situation itself.

--
Humans are plagued by a zombie like disease in "Peace and Chaos"
Join the ~GNWriters-Club
:iconangichan:
and yes, those first couple pages need to show that fact, so got re work that until you feel confident about the beginning?

Details

July 24, 2008
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